Does everything that happen to us have a meaning? Does everything happen for a reason? These are questions I’ve struggled with lately. Why did I get hit by a car? Why are there no jobs in the area I’m living? Why was my grandpa taken away from us? So many questions that will never be answered.
This leads me to searching for an answer as I did when I was hit by a car.
Not having a job for the past few weeks has taught me a lot. I have NEVER been a saver. I’ve always done whatever whenever because I was able to. I’ve traveled, I’ve gone to concerts, I’ve partied, and I’ve shopped.
Over the past few weeks I’ve said no to concerts, said no to getting my nails done, and said no to sporting events. Inside I’m dying a little because “who am I? I never say no.”
Is this lul in my work supposed to be a lesson on the fact that I need to start saving and saying “no” more? Or does it just happen because that’s life and I chose to move here hoping there’d be jobs in my area and my luck there’s not. Or am I supposed to go home for a while and be with family and friends? Or do I not have a job so that I am able to go home with ease for my grandpa’s funeral and spend extended time with them before a job pops up?
Yet mores questions I will never for sure know the answers.
Now death is always a touchy subject. It’s inevitable, but how can you not have questions. Why now? How was he still holding on after everything he’s been through? How can he be taken away before seeing so much of my life or my families’ lives? He worked till he was 91 shouldn’t that mean he has at least 10 years post retirement?
Yet more questions that will never be answered.
I for sure don’t have this thing called life figured out, but I sure try to. Maybe I think too much into things, but as Sugarland said, there’s gotta be something more.
If I wouldn’t have gotten hit by a car would I actually be traveling? If I would have had a job right now would I have been able to go home for extended time with my family during this difficult time? If grandpa wouldn’t have passed now would it have occurred at a worse time in our lives?
When you have all day to sit around with your thoughts, it’s a pretty scary thing or maybe it’s a good thing?
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” Jeremiah 29:11-12
There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1
Right now is my season for growth, personal growth. My last season was professional growth; traveling and growing as an occupational therapist.
Saying no is hard for me. Maybe I needed this season to help me learn how to say no and grow personally. This must be my season of “jobless” of “personal growth”. Because if every season is a negative season, how do we go on? How do we wake up each morning with a purpose?
The day of my Grandpa’s funeral I received a call that I had landed a job in the Seattle area (which is great considering there had been no jobs even near me recently). Receiving that call on the day of his funeral seemed like no mistake to me. My grandpa was watching over me. If I had been working during this time I probably wouldn’t have been able to come home for the week I was home to spend time with family. It was much needed family time and am grateful I was able to be home for an extended time.
Things have a way of working out, they just sometimes aren’t the path that we see (or might not be the path that we want).
Find the good in everything. Search for the meaning. God puts you through seasons for a reason. No one said it would be easy. This season for me has definitely challenged me and thrown obstacles at me that I never thought I would have to face.
So what is your season? Season of love? Season of children? Season of uncertainty?Season of wealth? Season of single?
Whatever your season is. Make something out of your “useless” season. Learn from it. Grow from it and Embrace the Detours.
RIP Grandpa. Fly high. I am so blessed to have an amazing angel watching over me. 02/16/1924 – 08/30/17