Turning uncertainty into Seasons

Does everything that happen to us have a meaning? Does everything happen for a reason? These are questions I’ve struggled with lately. Why did I get hit by a car? Why are there no jobs in the area I’m living? Why was my grandpa taken away from us? So many questions that will never be answered.

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This leads me to searching for an answer as I did when I was hit by a car.

Not having a job for the past few weeks has taught me a lot. I have NEVER been a saver. I’ve always done whatever whenever because I was able to. I’ve traveled, I’ve gone to concerts, I’ve partied, and I’ve shopped.

Over the past few weeks I’ve said no to concerts, said no to getting my nails done, and said no to sporting events. Inside I’m dying a little because “who am I? I never say no.”

Is this lul in my work supposed to be a lesson on the fact that I need to start saving and saying “no” more? Or does it just happen because that’s life and I chose to move here hoping there’d be jobs in my area and my luck there’s not. Or am I supposed to go home for a while and be with family and friends? Or do I not have a job so that I am able to go home with ease for my grandpa’s funeral and spend extended time with them before a job pops up?

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Yet mores questions I will never for sure know the answers.

Now death is always a touchy subject. It’s inevitable, but how can you not have questions. Why now? How was he still holding on after everything he’s been through? How can he be taken away before seeing so much of my life or my families’ lives? He worked till he was 91 shouldn’t that mean he has at least 10 years post retirement?

Yet more questions that will never be answered.

I for sure don’t have this thing called life figured out, but I sure try to. Maybe I think too much into things, but as Sugarland said, there’s gotta be something more.

If I wouldn’t have gotten hit by a car would I actually be traveling? If I would have had a job right now would I have been able to go home for extended time with my family during this difficult time? If grandpa wouldn’t have passed now would it have occurred at a worse time in our lives?

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When you have all day to sit around with your thoughts, it’s a pretty scary thing or maybe it’s a good thing?

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” Jeremiah 29:11-12

There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1

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Right now is my season for growth, personal growth. My last season was professional growth; traveling and growing as an occupational therapist.

Saying no is hard for me.  Maybe I needed this season to help me learn how to say no and grow personally. This must be my season of “jobless” of “personal growth”. Because if every season is a negative season, how do we go on? How do we wake up each morning with a purpose?

The day of my Grandpa’s funeral I received a call that I had landed a job in the Seattle area (which is great considering there had been no jobs even near me recently). Receiving that call on the day of his funeral seemed like no mistake to me. My grandpa was watching over me. If I had been working during this time I probably wouldn’t have been able to come home for the week I was home to spend time with family. It was much needed family time and am grateful I was able to be home for an extended time.

Things have a way of working out, they just sometimes aren’t the path that we see (or might not be the path that we want).

Find the good in everything. Search for the meaning. God puts you through seasons for a reason. No one said it would be easy. This season for me has definitely challenged me and thrown obstacles at me that I never thought I would have to face.

So what is your season? Season of love? Season of children? Season of uncertainty?Season of wealth? Season of single?

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Whatever your season is. Make something out of your “useless” season. Learn from it. Grow from it and Embrace the Detours.

 

RIP Grandpa. Fly high. I am so blessed to have an amazing angel watching over me.               02/16/1924 – 08/30/17297330_286501784705124_1877787322_n

 

 

‘Tis the Season

Here’s my first blog post! I’ve been working on one about my trip to LA, but that one is taking me awhile because of all our adventures in the short time we were there so I decided to write a little reflection post first.

With Lent right around the cor….oh wait. It’s here. Yesterday as I was working out at the gym I was contemplating what I was going to give up so here’s what I came up with.

  1. I am going to go to the gym at least 5 days a week. Ever since my accident it has been hard to get back on the workout train. Prior to my accident I was going regularly; lifting and running. I want to get back into that habit and starting a habit is the hardest part of the battle. I am determined to get back to where I was over 6 months ago. I am planning on going to the gym in the morning so that I can get it out of my way and have the evening to adventure, hike, or just to have time to myself. Shout out to my mom for agreeing to call me in the morning, 4:30 my time; 6:30 her time, to make sure that I get up and go to the gym! What would we do without moms?
  2. I am going to read at least 1 “fun” book. I love reading for fun, but rarely do so. On the trek out here I was able to read, because my dad did a lot of the driving (You the real MVP). I think reading is not only good for the soul, but also for the mind. I also think this will help me decrease the amount of time I spend watching Netflix and my Roku at night because let’s be real it’s a ridiculous amount of time.
  3. Sweets only one day of the week. Let’s be honest. I have a HUGE sweet tooth and have a difficult time turning down a good dessert (as you will note later in this post). By limiting myself to only having one day a week that I can have sweets, I’m hoping to increase my self-control and save my “cheat” day for something that I really want.
  4. Improve my prayer life. After moving to Cali, I became a lot closer to God and also started attending Church on a regular basis. Prayer not only is a time to ask God to help with the problems in your life, but also to thank him for the good things and to grow in your relationship with God. I want to continue growing my relationship with God by not only praying more frequently, but praying with more intent.

 

On another note – this last weekend was a much needed chill weekend (not that I didn’t have plenty of time to chill on my week winter break I just had as well). Saturday night Tammy and Ben took me to my first Golden State Warriors game. It was so much fun! We went to Drake’s Brewing Company to grab a few drinks and dinner before the game. The atmosphere was neat and rustic. I tried their Demon Duck of Doom, a Saison, which was pretty good. For dinner I ordered their Porkbelly Sandwhich which had a hoison mayo, napa cabbage slaw, onion, and pickled zucchini. It was delicious! They have different choices of fries and I chose their spicy fries – probably won’t order them again and wished I would have went with the garlic fries instead.

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The atmosphere at the game was unbelievable. I now know why they call it the (R)oracle. Unfortunately, Durante wasn’t playing because of a bruised hand (come on it can’t be that bad, right?) Stephen and Klay (or should I say the Splash brothers) did not disappoint. They were sinking shots left and right. Although the Nets kept up surprisingly well, the warriors pulled through and won it.

Sunday I went to the 9:30 service at VIVE and the message was great. “Our God is an Awesome God” was one of the opening praise songs which was by far my favorite song that we sang in youth choir growing up. The message was about how God works in seasons for example you could be in a “single” season or a “stressful” season and how God is working in our seasons and that he will bring the right thing at the right time. Sometimes our “season” can feel stagnant, but it is actually when God is positioning us for what is coming. God makes something useful out of our “useless” seasons. You can check out the whole message on podcast “A Season of Suddenly” VIVE CHURCH with Adam Smallcombe.

After church Tammy, Ben, and myself went to Aquis for brunch (which none of us knew they actually served brunch food). I ordered their Monterey Scramble – organic polenta, sweet potato, edamame and cheese enchiladas with scrambled eggs, tomato-basil sauce, roasted corn organic brown rice, avocado, corn-jicama salsa and feta cheese – AMAZING! Tammy and Ben ordered a brunch special which they both loved. Ben also ordered their flourless chocolate cake which of course we all shared and I may have eaten more than my share 😛 We walked around Willow Glen and checked out some stores and then the rest of my Sunday was “mental prepare for going back to work” mode after a 9 day break.

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Monday was an easy first day back after 9 days. After work I met up with one of my best friends from high school, Caleb Northrup, who was in town for work. We went to Sino which is a family style dim sum & Chinese-inspired restaurant. Two of Caleb’s coworker’s were with us and we ordered wayyyy too much food. After dinner Caleb and I went for drinks at Straights which we later found out is a sister bar to Sino. I would recommend both of these places to anyone – great food, drinks, and atmosphere. Catching up with Caleb was so much fun and I didn’t want the night to end. Unfortunately some of us had to work the next day.

Welllll I hope you all enjoyed my first post – no judgements. I’m doing this out of pure fun, for a little therapeutic release, and for family and friends to keep up. Happy Hump day!